I am lucky to have been in Nairobi for a while now, if 8 years can be classified as a while. I have been lucky to have travelled here and there, passed through African Airports, and the majority of books on that are a quick sale, are a guide to a city, which usually includes a map, names of malls and places to spend a Saturday afternoon, a number of discos, and white restaurants, so here is to the white brothers…. A 5 point guide to dating a Nairobi girl.
LOCATION! LOCATION! LOCATION
Location is everything. Ask your hotel front office to give you a good cabbie, tell him to take you around, ask for Westlands, it’s safe, up town and there are quite a few clubs that extend to the terrace, and if you see lots of white people, that could be your first stop.
WHITE MAN ALARM
If you are alone, you are a good target. In Nairobi, you can’t easily tell the girls. They are not always in trashy, shiny clothes, they could as well look like they just got out of work with car keys in hand, a hand bag and semi formal outfits. It depends on what you are looking for, and there are two types here. There are the pay girls, and then there are those who just want to hook up with a white man, it’s called Amazon fever, they swear they can never date a black man, you will laugh at the reasons.
SAMANTHA FEVER
She always has a weave, long and heavy; sometimes it’s a wig, complete with big bangs. Her style is elegant, she is beautiful, tall, skinny and dark, shiny lips, walks like a model. Her image is a mix between elegant and hopeful. She dances seductively, smokes suggestively, and looks you in the eye, if you keep holding her gaze, she will know you have jungle fever. (Looking for a black girl)
LIGHTER PLEASE
She holds a Benson& Hedges in her hand, pouting as she asks you for a lighter, if you don’t smoke, she will ask you if you need company. She is very smart, she even knows American politics, if she doesn’t, then she will make you laugh. She may ask you for money, this is the point you decide what it’s going to be. She will give you her number; many times she is a 3rd year law student and sometimes studying architecture, you can buy her a dink, just don’t leave her with yours when you take a leak.
NEXT PLEASE
Kenyan women are very brash, if they sit with you, then they like your company, and if they don’t like you, yet sit with you, and then they are looking for money, don’t trust your gut, no one falls in love in one night. Please go back to your room without a girl, but come back to club again, same faces, change clubs as proposed by your cabbie, and slowly, you learn that Kenyan girls are few, and they hang out in the same clubs you will.
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